Truth time people. Going to bed in your man’s college t-shirt is not as sexy as you think. I’m sorry. I know he said you looked sexy in it. But think about it. What were the circumstances of that compliment? And how often have you heard it since? In my non-scientific poll of customers, they admitted to only hearing this once. And my gueNice is, they were probably in the kitchen, the man coming up from behind, all hot and bothered, when she heard those magic words, “Honey, you look so hot in my college t-shirt.” And then he promptly removed it. That, or you were 21.

Yes, in the right circumstance, it can be pretty damn sexy. Like, when you’re not wearing anything underneath it and doing a sexy little dance. But you and I both know you are wearing it with oversized flannels, socks and an oversized hoodie. I’m sorry. It’s not sexy. (And, yes, this applies to men as well.)

I get that it makes you feel young. It’s a throw back to your days of endless sex and fun in college. It’s a reminder of freedom and lack of responsibility. Fine. But, you know it says now? I’m old. I’m living off my glory days. Maybe he won’t notice my breasts have dropped. But worst of all it says, I don’t care.

I mean come on. Your average college t-shirt pajama ensemble basically says, “Don’t even think of having sex with me. I couldn’t be less interested.”

Am I exaggerating? Maybe (probably not). But you get my point. And here is my real question — how do you feel in this outfit? Honestly. And no, comfortable is not an acceptable answer. Do you see yourself as beautiful and desirable? Do you feel sexy? How do YOU feel? Do you feel like Keira Knightly? Not look like her, feel like her. Yeah, that’s what I thought.

I’m not saying you need to dress up like a Victoria Secret model every night, but think about what you are saying to yourself and to the person who is in bed with you. To be sexy you have to feel sexy. You have to feel confident. And you have to want to look as beautiful as you feel. Make sure it’s soft to the touch. That it skims your body. That it shows your clavical and your shoulders. Show some skin ladies. Stop apologizing for your body and embrace.

Use the girlfriend litmus test. Stand in front of the mirror and say, “What would my girlfriend’s say?” If they say fine for a pajama party with your best friend or a night with Ben & Jerry on the couch — time to rethink your wardrobe. Love your body. Love your sensuality. Love your partner. And for God’s sake, look in the bloody mirror.