So, I’m still reading, and rereading, and rereading the cover story in the May 28th issue of New York Magazine, The Affairs of Men. This article is Philip Weiss’ journey into why men have affairs. The drive. The desire. The fear. Is it a need sexual variety? Conquest? Evolution? Male ego? Or just stupidity?

Look, I’m not naive about affairs and why they happen. I don’t even think they need to destroy marriages in some cases. But it does beg the question about what is going on when men literally fly in the face of fidelity, often with total denial of being caught in the most obvious of circumstances.

Though I am fascinated by this article and will begin to digest pieces of it, this was written like one long excuse which I found a bit indulgent on Wiess’ part. Needless to say, if I was Mrs. Weiss, I’d be keeping a sharp eye. I’d also not let his reassurances of “don’t worry, it was written to get readers” be taken with a grain (or 100 ) of salt. He did a little too much research, and was a little too innocent in his approach.

But all that aside, I think my brother Jonathan summed it up best for all your married folk: Think, don’t act. I say, reflect on what you need to do to fulfill your fantasies with your partner. Stop thinking about what’s wrong with your marriage and what you need to fix. Rather, get in a agreement with where you are and make it better. That speaks far more to your manhood (or womanhood) than being Client #9. I mean really, how humiliating.

Watch this space. More to come.

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