So I had an amazing event here last night. Tammy Nelson was here to do a talk about her new book Getting the Sex You Want and answer some questions. It was a great evening on many levels. Great turnout. Great speaker. And some validation that I somehow know what I’m talking about. But what I loved was the Q&A. I mean, of course, how could that not be fun?

Just when you thought the teenagers of my previous post had it made, this adorable youngin’ asks what happens when the sex gets dull? He’s having sex all the time but it’s not exactly, well, hot.

Ah, maintenance sex. I had this issue with a recent boyfriend. We went from hot to maintenance in about two months. And I can’t tell you how disappointing that was. Don’t get me wrong. Maintenance sex is better than no sex. Sex is mandatory in my book. It “maintains” the connection on its base level. So yes. It’s important. But I heard the kid loud and clear. And then I thought to myself, “Is maintenance sex overrated?”

The answer is NO. Not having sex is far worse than maintenance sex could ever become. But, yes, you have to shake it up — and on a regular basis. I’m not a big play out my fantasies kind of girl (can’t get that Puritanical CT thing out my system, I guess) but I talk about it all the time. I tell people to try it all the time. I sell plenty of books on it. But I realized last night that Fantasy doesn’t have to be fantastical! This is where Tammy came in and got me straight last night. A fantasy can be as small as “unbutton my blouse” or “lick my fingers.” It doesn’t have to be dress up or even role play. It can be(!), but it doesn’t have to be. And that was such a relief. Really. Trust me, given my line of work there’s a bit of pressure on this point. And you know what, it made me appreciate a good old, boring romp. But it also make me realize I am responsible for my own good sex. One man’s fantasy is one woman’s maintenance, I guess.

So keep up the good maintenance, people. And know that all those young, lusty couples may have nothing on you after all.