The challenge: Mistletoe. Everywhere. Starting now.

Mistletoe is Santa’s way of giving you permission to makeout at the drop of a hat. Okay, not with your mother-in-law, but with your partner. Every second of every day you have permission for blatant and unapologetic public displays of affection all because of a little green shrub cutting.

If this sets you into an anxiety ridden panic, then guess what, this challenge is for you. Because mistletoe is Kris Kringle’s little marriage booster. This is a stressful time of year. Kids. Parties. Too much eggnog. It can be a nightmare. And it’s also the time when you lose total connection to what the holidays are all about. Family. Love. And peace on earth, or at least your household.

So what if all this were challenged with mistletoe. Because mistletoe can handle a multitude of holiday problems.

  • Exhausted? Mistletoe. Kissing generates endorphins to wake you up.
  • About to get in a fight? Mistletoe. Carry it in your pocket and hold it over his head to shut him up with a kiss. He’ll forget what he was mad about if done correctly.
  • Kids driving you crazy? Mistletoe. It makes excellent child repellent. They’ll run screaming to the other room.
  • Need privacy? Mistletoe. A chain around the bedroom door. Double strand. No child will dare enter, and there’s no way you can enter without thinking about kissing and what comes after.
  • Hint for extra loving later? Mistletoe. Put it as a garnish on the dessert plate. Eat that.

Mistletoe is more than a useless piece of shrub that some clever arborist figured out how to sell. It’s a message. It’s a lot of messages. And it’s a way of making holiday memories that will have you smiling and checking in with the local flower shop daily come December. Think of it as Father Christmas’ gift to all lovers. Think his cheeks are red because he’s been on his sleigh nipping too much brandy to stay warm? No, it’s because he can’t stop thinking about Mrs. Claus under the mistletoe.